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The article is about to show the role of etiquette, politeness and the expression of gratitude in the sphere of interpersonal communications. Politeness is studied as a strategy or a set of strategies that is orientated towards achieving positive results in communication. The choice of one or another strategy by communicators depends on both outside and inside factors such as parameters of the situation, moral and cultural values. The given research extends and systematizes knowledge about the category of gratitude as the most significant element of human relations.
Key words: communication, etiquette, politeness, gratitude.
Стаття присвячена розкриттю ролі етикету, ввічливості і зокрема вдячності у сфері міжособистісних комунікацій. Ввічливість розглядається як стратегія або набір стратегій, що орієнтовані на досягнення позитивного результату у спілкуванні. Вибір тієї або іншої стратегії комунікантами залежить як від зовнішніх, так і від внутрішніх факторів, а саме від параметрів ситуації, моральних і культурних цінностей. Дане дослідження поглиблює й систематизує знання про категорію ввічливості як найважливішого елемента людського спілкування.
Ключові слова: спілкування, етикет, ввічливість, вдячність.
The subject of our course paper is “The informational content of English linguistic cliches “the expression of gratitude” ”. The research is dedicated to communication aspects, such as speech etiquette, politeness and the expression of gratitude as one of its forms. It consists of 3 parts: 2 theoretical ones and a practical one. We tried to comprise as much interesting and useful information as possible, dealing with different resources. For better understanding of what courtesy means and other details of the given subject, we have chosen two books of English authors, read them carefully and written down some quotations from them that helped us clarify some moments of the research. If to talk about resources for theoretical parts, we used Internet as well as library books. We intend to continue working on this topic as we regard the knowledge of such a subject to be indispensible in the modern world.
The topicality of this research is conditioned by the growing role of interpersonal communication because of the expansion of the boundaries of international cooperation; formation of new requirements to the quality of interpersonal communication process aimed at achieving mutual understanding; lack of elaboration of the theory of politeness in domestic linguistics; the need of the research on the practical regulation of interpersonal verbal communication and interaction between people.
Many researchers worked on the issue of interpersonal communication such as M. Grice, H. Leach, R. Lakof, M. Klein, D. Carnegie, I.P. Tarasova and others.
Culture communication as an external manifestation of inner spiritual nature of a person includes all areas of everyday behavior – in public places, family, domestic relations, industrial relations, companionship and more. High culture of speech is unthinkable without adherence to speech etiquette. It is the ability to listen to the interlocutor attentively, join the conversation tactfully, speak clearly and in a tolerant way, use words and phrases of etiquette appropriatelly.
Etiquette as a set of specific rules and norms of behavior means maintaining a decent way of treatment that confirms the external culture of moral relations. Etiquette is socially determined, because the rules of etiquette are utilitarian by nature. They facilitate people’s relationships arranging to use means of public communication. Etiquette allows you to save energy and health, calms the nervous system, puts everyone on equal terms of human relations that finally brings contentment to everyone.
Etiquette is directed to education and strong motivation of a person who knows how to restrain violent emotions and anger. Characteristic features of etiquette:
• a typical historical character;
• defined by national identity;
• combines practical, useful and beautiful in a harmonious way;
• provides with freedom of variations of established methods and manners;
• based on the requirement of precision, obligation and discipline.
Etiquette reflects the beauty of human relationships, so its most distinctive feature is expediency and beauty. It is the harmonious combination of practical, useful and aesthetic – beautiful. Etiquette is intended to limit not human freedom, but selfishness, rudeness, disrespect for others.
The desire to be substantial, underlining his own dignity is the most powerful human need, that is why etiquette is aimed at increasing the dignity of another person. Etiquette is not adulation because false and primitive reverence can cause aversion rather than respect. Etiquette, regulating the culture of behavior, recorded the respect of one person to another, that is why it is also called “the art of respectfulness.”
We should distinguish between linguistic and speech etiquette. Linguistic etiquette – a set of “verbal forms of politeness, carried in a certain circle of people, in a certain society, in a particular country”, whereas speech etiquette is a system of standard, stereotype verbal formulas used in situations that are repeated every day: greetings, farewells, apologies, expressions of gratitude, invitations, suggestions, etc., so this is a choice of language expressions, means of their implementations, the use of language etiquette in specific acts of communication.
In the theory of interpersonal communication the principle of politeness is considered as the adherence to the communication contract and lies in following an extent set of mutual rights and responsibilities of communicators for a certain situation.
According to G. Leech, principles of courtesy include the following postulates:
– postulate of tact (cause minimum inconvenience and maximum comfort to another person);
– postulate of generosity (create minimum comfort to yourself and maximum convenience to another person);
– postulate of approval (minimize the negative evaluation of others, strive for getting the most positive reviews from others);
– postulate of modesty (praise yourself in a minimum way, embroil youself in a maximum way);
– postulate of consent (minimize the divergence between you and others, seek to maximize an agreement between you and others);
– postulate of sympathy (minimize antipathy between you and others, strive for maximizing sympathy between you and others).
R. Lakof complements these principles with more general original principles of rationality and good: keep in mind that the process of communication involves smart people and they do not want to cause harm each other.
M. Klein explores how these postulates are used in practice of interpersonal communication. He makes a conclusion that compliance with the rule of quantity and related to it requirements to expression is not a problem in terms of interpersonal communication anymore. Compliance with the rule of quality that concerns the truth of expression can lead to interpersonal conflicts as it related to issues of politeness, harmony and compassion for the interlocutor. But the rule of modality is especially culture-specific since uncertainty can lead to “the loss of face” of the speaker.
Violation of one or more of these postulates causes communication failure in interpersonal communication. But in some cases, the basic tenets of communication can be violated intentionally. This is, firstly, due to inconsistency of postulates themselves, for example, “Be polite” and “be brief and clear,” and secondly, violation of postulates of communication can be defined by the aim of the speaker – to put the interlocutor in an awkward situation or to influence recipient in some way.
The principles and basic tenets of communication are diverse by nature, they include ethics, linguistic models of behavior, but common sense is the foundation of communication postulates.
The principle of comity, as noted in the linguistic literature, is the main strategy in interpersonal business communication.
In our research politeness is seen as a category of linguistic behavior, which is realized in the speech by a certain set of lexical and grammatical means, which primary goal is to achieve positive communication effect.
Gratitude – the ability to evaluate properly all the attention paid to you, every good deed done for you. It has great social value, because it supports in people the desire to do good things to others, consequently the desire to do good things to others is love.
Gratitude – a complex sensation that arises on the basis of emotional and rational assessment of events. The addressee of gratitude may be not only specific people, but also communities of people(e.g., ancestors) and non-personified essences: the world, the god.
As Mark Tullius Cicero stated: “None of the quality I would like to have to such an extent as the ability to be grateful. Because it is not only the greatest virtue, but also the mother of all other virtues. ”
Gratitude is a positive feeling; having gratitude, a person ceases to concentrate on himself, pays more attention to other people and establishes relationships with others more easily.
“Someone has defined politeness as” only an elegant form of justice “; but it something more. It is the result of the combined action of all the moral and social feelings, guided by judgment and refined by taste. It requires the exercise of benevolence, veneration (in its human aspect), adhesiveness and ideality, as well as conscientiousness. It is the spontaneous recognition of the human solidarity – the flowering of philanthropy – the fine art of the social passions. It is to the heart what music is to the ear, and painting and sculpture to the heart. ” – a quotation from the book “How to behave” by Samuel R. Wells.
True but not only formal politeness is kindness of heart, it is attention to the neighbor that stems from good will, from a deep sense of solidarity that shows some of the spiritual development of a person, because, as the German philosopher Kayzerlinh states, “a man cannot be perfect internally if he behaves imperfectly externally … ”
An uncivil, impolite and ill-mannered person certifies his spiritual scantiness by his own behaviour.nPoliteness makes the relationship between people more harmonious, helps to avoid misunderstandings and establish contacts, relieves the tension in stressful situations and creates a positive and prosperous atmosphere.
If to talk about benefits of politeness, we can mention such ones as:
●Politeness gives an opportunity – to go out of any situation with dignity.
●Politeness gives the ability – “to have oneself in hand.”
●Politeness adds the strength – to display only the best human qualities.
●Politeness gives joy – from communication with people.
●Politeness provides clarity – in words, thoughts and behavior.
●Politeness releases – from rudeness and brutality.
There exist some ways of how we can bring up and develop politeness in ourselves. It can be done by:
1 . Learning etiquette.
2. Reading. Not every man of vast reading is polite – but every polite man is of vast reading. The wider horizons a person has, the more he respects others, and the closer he is to upbring courtesy into himself.
3. Working on ourselves. Developing a skill to listen to the interlocutor carefully, not interrupting, a person upbrings courtesy into himself.
4. Communication. There is nothing better for achieving politeness than having a thoughtful dialogue with a polite person.
There is a close connection between mind and language, mind and body, mind and soul. Healthy body, healthy mind and healthy language create a harmonious personality. Modern researches have shown that errors in speech are not accidental. They have a deep connection with mental development. Stuttering and veiling in the language arise when there is a serious emotional disorder. Almost all diseases are psychosomatic by nature.
Every person who strives for perfection, should, firstly, become a doctor treating his body, secondly, – an expert in grammar watching his language, thirdly, – a philosopher, who clears his mind and understands the absolute Truth. In the life of such a person there cannot be any room for physical ailments, indifference to self-knowledge and incoherent speech. Gratitude should come from a good heart, because gratitude is love to a person who did a good deed, and no one can force anyone to love.
Teachers proclaim that every second we are getting closer to God, or withdrawing from Him. Each situation is a lesson. And we must thank God for every situation we are sent. Each situation is given to us so that we can work on ourselves. The less we are harmonious, the more we are intense, the more severe lessons we receive. But as soon as we accept a situation, we get relaxation and, consequently, this situation is quickly resolved.
A morally developed person does good deeds for good itself, without any expectation. “How we can learn and experience gratitude depends on our personal religious perspective, our psychological makeup, and our level of awareness. The process begins with awareness that we have a choice. The next step requires a necessary stillness within ourselves so we can do the internal work of being grateful. Then the feeling of gratitude becomes a conscious attitude and is expressed through our actions. ” – a quotation from the book” How to behave ” written by Samuel R.Wells.
Gratitude – a powerful method to increase your energy and bring into your life what you want. Be grateful for what you already have, and you will attract even more good things. We all have greater powers and possibilities than we realize, and visualization is one of the largest forces. Visualization is a method of creating images in your thinking of a happy ownership of the desirable. If you practice such a method, you can change your life considerably, bring positive changes and reach things that may seem to be unreachable.
“The words seem so easy: be grateful and you will be filled with joy, happiness, and a sense of fulfillment. Simply open your heart and mind to the glories of the universe and the infinite blessings that shower upon us and you will live in the heavenly sphere of gratitude. “-” a quotation from the book “Words of gratitude for mind, body and soul ” written by Robert A. Emmons & Joanna Hill.
So, be grateful for what you have now. When you start to think about things which you appreciate in your life, your thoughts return to you in the form of many new things and events that inspire a sense of gratitude. You need only to start, and the law of gravitation will pick up your grateful thoughts and bring you even more similar ones. Gratitude is a powerful method for increasing your energy and bringing in your life what you want. Be grateful for what you already have, and you will attract much more good things.
Made by Iryna Samchuk
Scientific advisor: Kraychynska G.V.
Науковий керівник – кандидат філологічних наук, доц. Крайчинська Г.В.